Big BrothER
by fairybabe
Summary: See what the ER cast get up to in the house that sees everything...nonsense really
1. Character Profiles

BIG BROTHER ER STYLEE (BUT nothing like BB!! Confused? I am!)  
  
CHARACTER PROFILES  
  
(OK, this is just light hearted, so please don't take it too seriously if you are offended by my portrayal. I love the show, and I have exaggerated character traits for a more humorous approach, it is all for the fun of it, hehehe. Once again it is just observations I have made, blah, blah blah.)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters either they belong to the WB, etc.  
  
Author's note: This is my first fanfic, so please RATE AND REVIEW to let me know your thoughts. And also this will be based more on the English version of BB considering I'm English and haven't seen the US version, but still, no flames just yet, hehehe  
  
  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
So lets meet the housemates before we do anything  
  
  
  
Abby  
  
A real down to earth, fun loving but always 'miserable, depressed-and- wallowing-in-self-pity' kind of gal. She would be the high school depressive kid, who openly despised the cheerleaders, but secretly envied their ravishing looks and practiced their routines every night in front of her mirror. She would cruelly let her thoughts about the other girls spill out at any opportunity to anyone who'll listen, and is always up for a bitching session. Always needs someone to listen to her whining, very troubled and tormented soul.  
  
Carter  
  
Always the gentlemen who wants to be loved by all the laydees, wants to be seen as being a do-gooder and never wrong. He hates getting on the bad side of people. He is the original golden boy, rich kid, but goes to great lengths to steer himself away from the high life. Appears to be unable to settle down with any girl - his longest relationship is probably no longer than a month, he is a childish fool with love. Has serious issues in his head that keep resurfacing, he needs to stop living in the past and get his ass in the present, although now he is dealing with it in his slow, sweet time. But none of this really matters - because he is such a cutie all is forgiven, and with those puppy dog brown eyes, he could do anything and still be loved.  
  
Debs  
  
Has to be the best at anything and everything, can't take being second place for fear of being a failure. Appears to be somewhat the feminist believing in woman's rights in a male dominated society, and she won't let anybody treat her lesser than them. Doesn't seem to actually know what fun is, appears to be quite dreary and lacking any real charisma (wake up people she's as stale as they come). Her role model is obviously Ling from Ally McBeal, as she desperately tries to emulate her no nonsense, kick ass attitude.  
  
Elizabeth  
  
Strong minded, well opinionated and powerful woman - all the qualities for a super-bitch. Seems quite reserved and frosty to approach, if you get on the wrong side of her then all hell will break loose. Always complains, whines, and whinges when things are not to her liking, easily gets distraught over the slightest of things. Seems kind of childlike, in the sense that she would be the spoilt kid throwing a tantrum in the candy store if she couldn't get the sweeties she wanted. Blames her mother for her upper-class upbringing and not being there for her, although that has jack all to do with anything.  
  
Gallant  
  
Law abiding, trustworthy and honest citizen of the United States of America. Verging on being a 'know-it-all-smarty-pants' but fails to see that knowing too much can be a bad thing. He wants everyone to like him and will please them eagerly without hesitation, and will not complain about his duties. Very efficient and proper, works best in organised, routine schedules. Can be a bit dull because he is so set beside the rules, and if someone breaks them, they will soon hear a 10-minute lecture on why the rule was enforced, why it shouldn't be broken and what dangers lie ahead if it is broken. Get over it.  
  
Kerry  
  
Bossy, domineering authoritarian. Likes everyone to be under her dictatorship of routine and schedule. Doesn't appear to show her fun side, although it is there burrowing somewhere, its all about the work times10. There is an emotional void in her life, there's no one that really loves her, and no one that she really loves herself. She is oblivious to all the malicious gossiping about her especially since she has recently declared her love for women, but is just as unlucky with them as she is with the men. But it is hard to commit to someone when she keeps it hidden from others that she is actually an evil witch.  
  
  
  
Luka  
  
Mysterious, warm-hearted and loving gentleman but with a very violent streak. Like Jekyll and Hyde; mornings he's picking flowers from his garden and smelling them sweetly, by the evening he's down the local sleazy bar punching up and pounding all the lowlife scum, before darting off into the dark with the ally cats. He appears to be quite dumb, and never knows what he is talking about, he just spills out words hoping to God that it will make any sense. Why use one word when you can use twenty. Very easily gets angry and holds a grudge against others; he is obviously the very jealous type despite what others say. Basically, he is a violent monster with split personality, possibly could be a werewolf.  
  
Pratt  
  
Pratt by name, pratt by nature. He is a gangster lover (check out his chains people) straight from a P Diddy video shoot, who believes every woman digs his badass attitude to life. He can't bear to be told what to do so he just does his own thang regardless. He is cocky and self-assured, and goes through life with an 'act-now-think-never, I-don't-really-give-a-flip' demeanour. So to summarise: arrogant, no more no less.  
  
Rocket  
  
Typical smug, chauvinistic male with zero respect for anyone. He doesn't care what other people think of him and is despised by everyone. He likes to show his power and authority like normal people breathe, and people always do what he says because they are afraid of what he may do to them. However he does have a caring, compassionate side he shows only to his one true love, Gretel. What he lacks in hair and height, he makes up for in arrogance and ignorance, and is always out to prove something with the other guys, despite being the size of a garden gnome. He is the pinnacle of politically incorrectness.  
  
Susan  
  
Aka. Little Miss 'I've-got-a-really-droning-voice-that-never-changes- expression-even-when-I'm-so-darn-mad' is a flirty, hot, sizzling seductress (I must've missed that). Always friendly and up for a laugh and a wicked time with the gals as well as the fellas. Has a tendency to be boring and dull, and everything is always 'Susan, Susan, Susan, Chloe, Little Susie, Chloe, Susan, Little Susie, Little Susie, Chloe, Susan, Susan.' 


	2. Why AM I doing this?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to the WB, and all those talented writers out there, you know who you are, etc.  
  
Author's note: This is my first fanfic, so please RATE AND REVIEW to let me know your thoughts. And also this will be based more on the English version of BB considering I'm English and haven't seen the US version, but still, no flames just yet, hehehe.  
  
Thanks to my English teacher Lynne, she taught me all I know, so if you are going to complain, give her a buzz instead of me, hehe.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Just to set the scene:  
  
The night of the moving in approaches, since the housemates were selected to be locked up for weeks on end with each other, they haven't been able to see each other anymore beforehand, like that's a bad thing, they're going to be living under each other for up to 11 weeks, so yes there will be fights, yes the will be night time liaisons, you never know, there may even be a game better than 'follow the van', who knows (not even me because I'm making this up as I go along, tralala la lala.) They are going through those vital security checks (well vital for the programme makers anyways) we do not want another Nasty Nick incident (who knew a pencil could cause so much uproar)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
'Why exactly AM I doing this?' pondered Kerry as she was hauled into a room with the other housemates. 'More like animals in a damn zoo,' she continued to herself. 'Damn, I know why, I though it would be the new me, like the beginning of my new life, what was I thinking though?' She stood in silence deep in her thought for a while the other doctors chatted excited about their upcoming adventure.  
  
'Yeah, I know why I am doing this. I've got to prove to Sandy that I am comfortable with being gay, hell, if I can show the whole world, then there is no problem anymore. Well except.' Kerry trailed off, sighed and a feint smile appeared on her face thinking about the possibility of her and Sandy being together again. 'Ah well.'  
  
Kerry looked around the small, boxy room as the burly security guards frisked the housemates frantically to ensure no forbidden items were being smuggled into the house.  
  
Pratt shifted uneasily on his feet as the butch man searched through his suitcase, to reveal wrapped inside is Calvin Klein boxers, a miniscule portable TV set. The guard stood to stance sharply, gripping the miniature machine. He remained silent, but his eyes bulged and stared down at Pratt, who let out a loud, echoing but brief chuckle and shook his head defiantly. The guard exhaled hurricane strength winds. (Like the metaphor? Lynne would be proud)  
  
Pratt immediately tried to redeem himself. 'Well what's a guy to do, huh?' he asked no one in particular. 'Man, I gotta watch the game on Sunday. I mean you're a guy, right?' he said as he looked in the security guards general direction. It was perfectly obvious he was so its one of those questions that isn't a question, ie rhetorical. He continued, 'You know the male-sport relationship, right?'  
  
Abby cut in, 'Erm, well isn't it against the whole point of this, you know, to see how we interact with each other as people. If we wanted to gather around a TV set we could've stayed back in the ER lounge.' Abby, obviously, was always that kid who had to put the end to really fun games, just as it was getting really exciting and thrilling, more like the voice of reason during the times it was unneeded.  
  
Susan continued, 'Well, yeah, Pratt, Abby's right.' Pratt quickly cut in, 'I'm not in here for the social experiment, I'm here for the suitcase full of the good old almighty dollar.' But he knew he was too late. Susan had already started with her drawl, and it was unlikely that she would stop mid flow.  
  
Susan proceeded, 'Because, anyway,' she said diplomatically, 'all that will end up happening is the guys will sit on the couch gathered around that dumb box,' she gestured lamely with her right arm to the device in question, 'stuffing nachos and dip while us girls will slave away in the kitchen all day.'  
  
'Why, Susan, never knew you shared the traditional human role values,' Rocket butted in.  
  
'Ah-haa,' replied Susan slowly as she pondered Robert's remark, wondering if he actually believed in that or not. The answer to that is obviously yes, she'll find that out later, I'm sure when he's giving her all of his laundry to clean and iron.  
  
Carter looked at Susan with those cutie eyes and lowered his voice to her, as if like a hurt puppy, 'Hey, not all guys are like that, you know,' he glanced over in Robert's direction, looking for her approval where she would say that he wasn't like that.  
  
'Not all, meaning you?' she said flatly, almost like she knew the conversation before it developed any further. Carter bowed his head deeply in response as his eyes, yes those darling eyes, stared in her gaze.  
  
'Hmmmm,' Abby chipped in. Abby didn't like it when Carter gave his attention elsewhere, she wanted to be the one at the centre of his thoughts. She wanted him to look at her and her only and see her for what she really is. After Luka had told her she was nothing special and she wasn't really as pretty as the other girls, she began to believe it, like back in High School again. She couldn't believe someone she once loved suddenly say those hurtful things to her. She knew Carter wasn't like that, at all. Abby remember when she when Carter had taken her out. He made her feel special. Like a princess. Cue violins at this point as Abby slides deeper into emotional turmoil and melancholy She sure does know how to kill a party.  
  
Stepping out of the land of Abby's soap opera head, Pratt began to get impatient. 'Well, anyway about my TV,' he said rudely, obviously fed up of hearing about Abby and her problems of low self esteem. 'I can take it in, huh?' He looked at the guard hoping he had changed his mind since Abby's episode of depression. The guard just stared coldly at Pratt like he was beneath him. Well height wise he actually was, but metaphorically speaking. 'Aw man.' Pratt resided defeat and his shoulders dropped. He pouted his lips and stared off into the corner of the room as his eyes fought the tears. The tears of his dreams shattered, in one swoop.  
  
'I agree entirely,' stated Gallant. Yet another killjoy, woah what is it with these people. 'It is against the rules and defeats the purpose of the exercise. You know,' continued Gallant as Pratt spoke over him beaten, 'Ah great, this will be fun.' Sarcasm is a virtue, so they so (they being the unknown wisemen who say these things).  
  
Over the other side of the room, Elizabeth argued with another security guard. 'Look, I'm sorry ma'am, your suitcase is overweight and too full, look at it, it doesn't even close,' he smiled as he waved his hand in its direction. 'Well damn that,' said Elizabeth bitterly. 'Listen, I'm there for 11 weeks, 11 weeks, that's 77 days. I need clean clothes,' Elizabeth spat, getting upset at the thought of not being able to take some of her items.  
  
'Well do you really need all of these?' asked the guard helpfully. 'Yes I bloody well do,' retorted Elizabeth sharply. Ouch. The guard looked down at the case half occupied by boxes of teabags. 'Really?' he replied with a smile, slightly mocking her. 'Yes, I told you!' yelled Elizabeth fiercely, evidently becoming more irate at the prospect of having to do with weak tea while she was in the house. Oh my golly gosh, what is one to do?  
  
'Hey Elizabeth,' said Luka softly from the corner of the room. 'I have room in my suitcase. You can put some of your belongings close with mine, so they touch side by side.' (OK see what I mean about the whole doesn't-know- what-he's-talking-about-thing-and-just-uses-words-for-the-sake-of-using- them-when-really-they-are-not-needed-at-all? Kinda like what I just did there.)  
  
Elizabeth smiled sweetly at Luka, then turned to the guard and replied, 'Well that's settled then,' as she unpacked her items.  
  
The tension began to mount cue sharp, hitting drums and clashy instruments with hint of a violin ensemble  
  
All of the housemates listened intently as they were told what to do next.  
  
'OK, people, one by one, in alphabetical order, housemates will be called to the house by Big Brother,' said the programme executive type guy. 'You will be lead into the house in 3 minutes successions,' he continues.  
  
By this time, Pratt was bored and stared about the room. He thought, 'This is gonna be sweet. 11 weeks of butt sitting and I'm gonna walk away with the cash,' he chuckled to himself.  
  
'Animals, that's what we are. Getting treated like animals. I'll lead you in one by one. Hmm where did I hear that before,' resumed Kerry silently.  
  
'But I don't' understand it, why doesn't he ever look at me, he knows me better. Unless I'm just second best, second best. I really don't understand what makes me such a bad person to be around. What is it exactly? I mean, sure, just because I'm not some dumb, dizzy blonde,' thought Abby as she waited to enter the house. (OK remind me never to cut to Abby's inner thoughts again.)  
  
'Hmm, I notice how I've had no dialogue yet,' Debs thought huffily. (Well maybe because you have the personality of a wooden bread board.) 'Its because I'm a woman, I know it.'  
  
'I can't wait to get a brew on,' Elizabeth said in her head with a smile. 'Ahhh.'  
  
'What is death? Is it just the beginning of something far more exciting, mysterious and superior than listening to me talk bullcrap, or is it the end of our journey called life and at the end we will cease to exist anymore? Who knows?' Luka thought mixed up in his own tangled thoughts. 'I'm Croation.'  
  
'You can do it. You'll on be gone from her for 11 weeks. She'll be fine. Yes, she'll be fine. Aw, but I do miss her so much already. I'd give anything just to run my fingers through her long, silky black hair and kiss her pretty little mouth.' Robert thought about the implications of being away from Gretel too long. 'What happens if she finds someone else? Someone she loves more? She's my only love.'  
  
'Susan, Susan and Susan. Oh and then Chloe and Little Susie, with a bit of Susan, preceeded by a lot of Susan. Yes, Little Susie, Little Susie, Chloe, Little Susie, Chloe, Chloe and Susan. And then Susan, Susan, Susan and to finish with Susan.' Susan pondered annoyingly with her monotonous drone.  
  
'OK, what's going on here. We were supposed to enter that house at 20 hundred hours, and its now 20 hundred hours and 30 seconds. This is not on. You know,' Gallant said with somewhat authority.  
  
'I don't know why I'm here? I'm a millionaire, like I need the money. But I guess by being here, I can act like I DO need the money, then people will think I'm just like them and I'm not a rich kid,' Carter contemplated.  
  
The housemates jumped, startled by the loud voice that told Abby to enter the house.  
  
'Oh well guys, see you in the asylum,' she said gloomily as she walked up the stairs. As she did so, she realised that carter was next in the house, they could be alone for 3 whole minutes. Her mind raced with pleasure as she thought about what that would be like, about HER being HIS only focus for 3 minutes. 'Oh my god,' she said slowly. 'This isn't going to be soo bad after all.' She chuckled (kinda like tehehehe) with a devilish smile on her usually frown festered face, you know the one.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Please RATE AND REVIEW this people because I really want feedback. The first night in the BB house will be here shortly. 


	3. First few hours and things are going wel...

BIG BROTHER ER STYLEE (BUT nothing like BB!! Confused? I am!)  
  
FIRST FEW HOURS IN THE HOUSE  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to the WB, and all those talented writers out there, you know who you are, etc.  
  
Author's note: This is my first fanfic, so please RATE AND REVIEW to let me know your thoughts. And also this will be based more on the English version of BB considering I'm English and haven't seen the US version, but still, no flames just yet, hehehe.  
  
Thanks to my English teacher Lynne, she taught me all I know, so if you are going to complain, give her a buzz instead of me, hehe.  
  
Oh and sorry for stereotyping (well, I'm basically mocking my own people, so don't say I am being biased)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Just to set the scene:  
  
All of the housemates are now inside the house, and will remain there until they are nominated and put up for eviction and then public vote them out (ultimately the public being me, because I decide who goes and who stays. What can I say? Its one of the perks of the job, hehe) They have been in there for little over than 5 minutes and already they are starting to notice things about each other that they can't stand, i.e. they are seriously annoying the hell out of each other. The housemates are in the living room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
FIRST FEW HOURS IN THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE  
  
'Arghh, it makes me soo mad you know. I just can't believe it. It's because I'm a woman. They think that I have NO opinion about anything,' Deb whinged to the other housemates as she slumped herself on to the middle of the couch. The other housemates rose from their seats and wandered off elsewhere in the house to escape her approaching feminist speech.  
  
'Hey Debs, I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose,' Carter tried to calm her down, an erratic female locked alongside five members of the male species wouldn't exactly go down well, he thought. 'It doesn't make any real difference, you know Debs. You're still you, no one can change that.'  
  
Debs stared at Carter, she was still fuming, Carter looked around at the other housemates in desperation for their help.  
  
Elizabeth was quick to come to his aide, 'Yes,' she said gently, 'I think I know how to solve this. It'll all be fine, I promise you.' Elizabeth planned in her head every word and action she made to Debs so as not to upset her anymore. After all, she was a temperamental woman as well, so she knew what it was like to flip out over nothing. (I am a woman myself as well so don't say I'm sexist, it's the best part of being a laydee, being able to be soo moody, hehe life is sweet)  
  
Deb now looked at Elizabeth who was trying to comfort her. Elizabeth went on, 'See its not so bad.' Elizabeth began to get excited as she was to reveal her course of action to Debs. She smiled and said, 'I'll get us both a cup of tea.' Elizabeth grinned as Deb stared at her in absolute amazement. 'Does she really believe that tea has some sort of magic healing power?' thought Deb disgustedly at Elizabeth for trivialising such matters, who was beginning to get just as angry at that suggestion. With that Elizabeth got up from the couch and wandered over to the kitchen to make a brew, one of her more pleasurable pass times. Debs began to breathe heavily through her nose.  
  
Carter flustered towards her still trying to prevent her from exploding, again he scanned the room pleaing for help with his eyes. Yes, those puppy dog eyes. Those puppy dog eyes that could make people do anything. It was Kerry this time that came to his rescue.  
  
'Well, you know Jing Mei, really worse things could happen. But this isn't really so bad. But if it will make you feel any better, I can have a full investigation into this, I mean like a real inquiry to find out what the hell happened.'  
  
Deb eyes filled with delight. Oh how she loved to take legal action against people, she loved to take matters to the highest board. Kerry continued as she could see Debs starting lighten up at this prospect, 'Yes, I can have the person responsible charged with discrimination, I'll take it to the very top, and further, to anyone who will listen. Things like this shouldn't go unnoticed. It's about time a victim spoke out.' Kerry got carried away, as usual on matters relating to work, she too thrived off authority and regulation. Debs jumped up from the couch and clapped her hands excitedly, 'Ooo yea. So how far do you think I can take this thing?' she asked Kerry.  
  
'All the way,' she said simply. With that Debs let out an exited squeal, continued to jump up and down and put her hands towards her mouth. 'That'll teach them,' she said smugly. 'Its Jing Mei, not Debs.'  
  
When they first entered the house, the housemates decided that before exploring their new habitat, they would stay in the living room and look around together, but what with Deb's melodrama, Pratt got somewhat bored of the idea and decided to do his own thang. He had slung his bag down when he first came in, half expecting someone else to later move it before someone tripped over it, but that never happened. Pratt went off in search of the room with the best mirrors and upon stumbling across it, he then wandered back into their living room. He retrieved his bag and took it into the best bedroom out of the two, claiming the double bed by housing his suitcase in the middle. He flipped open the locks on the case and emptied its contents over the bed and the surrounding floor space to make his mark. Happily, he smiled at his effort, and left the bedroom to see if the Debs thing had blown over.  
  
An excited Deb bounced about the living as the other housemates looked dazed and confused by all the events, failing to realise that Pratt was even missing. He still chuckled to himself, 'Why, I'm such a sly dawg.'  
  
Finally, Abby remembered that they hadn't been assigned bedrooms, 'Hey you guys, you know what? We haven't even chosen our rooms yet. How will we decide who goes where?' Well there's a room full of arguably intelligent doctors, and it's the nurse who makes the most sense.  
  
Pratt chuckled to himself once more, knowing that he had the best bed in the house, all he needed now was for a laydee to share it with. He cleared his throat as the other continued deliberating.  
  
'Well I think that the girls should have the best bedroom,' Carter said as he looked over to the female members of the house. coughs ass licker coughs They quickly made a run towards Carter, and began to shower him with strokes of affection, kisses of joy all tied up with sweet compliments. Abby was more than happy to join in with this act, perhaps she was enjoying it a little too much, but she didn't care. Luka shot daggers to Carter (not literally people, he's been stabbed once before, I'm not going to put him through it all again). He wanted to be a part of their affections. 'Hey, yes,' he said smoothly, 'I think that women are the most sacred thing in the world, they deserve to be looked after, protected. They should be loved, be honoured,' he continued.  
  
Romano stared at him puzzled and shook his head in disbelief. 'Really?' he muttered sarcastically. 'And I thought a ten dollar bill would cover it.' All that talk of love made Robert think about Gretel, boy was he really missing her now. It was about the time when she would come sit on his lap, and caress his face with her tongue. (Ewwww, lets leave the Rocket's head for now, this is PG not Animal Farm)  
  
'So that is why I think that you beautiful women should have the biggest bedroom. Well, I use the term beautiful very generally because I know that some are blessed more than others,' he changed his tone as he glanced over to Abby. (Hey this is going by what he said, oh yes it)  
  
'Awwww, Luka, you're so sweet,' Susan gushed as she fluttered her eyelashes at Luka and swung her head to the side so quickly and sharply that Abby wondered if it had snapped off from her neck. Oh how she wished it would. 'Look at her,' thought Abby. 'Why is she doing this to me? Why does she have to throw herself in front of guys. In front of guys that I like.' Oh Abby, so many questions, so few answers.  
  
Gallant, always the do-gooder, decided he wanted to show his charitable side too. 'Yeah, its only fair that you get the best room,' he said looking in the females direction. 'Anyway,' he continued, 'I'm in the Air Force so I'm used to dormitories. You know,' he continued.  
  
'Really? Ow that's too kind Gallant,' Debs stated. 'But technically we should have the best room anyway. I mean, we're women, for years and years we were oppressed individuals in society, we were treated like second class citizens.'  
  
'Damn not this feminist crap again, I thought I avoided that earlier on when took the stuff to my bed,' Pratt moaned quietly. He raised his voice so Debs could hear what he was saying from on the sofa, as she stood by the kitchen worktop like she was at a podium giving a speech at the White House. 'So that automatically makes up for that, does it?' he asked her.  
  
'Sorry?' she replied confused. He replied, 'Well, all this fuss you keep causing because of oppressed women and second rate in society or whatever. And the way to pay you back for that is to give you a bedroom with ensuite bathroom?' he mocked.  
  
'Well, erm,' she stumbled. Pratt had caught her off guard; he loved to see her struggle. He decided that he should see her fluster some more. 'And while you go on about this, you seem to forget about the slave trade, huh. You know what I'm talking about. I'm black, and yeah in the past we were treated like dawgs, so does that qualify me for the best room, huh? Does it?' Debs stared at Pratt, her eyes filled with tears she couldn't bear to be beaten but she was, he had a point although she didn't admit it. Her mouth began to quiver and the tears became puddles in her eyes. Carter swooped in to the rescue again before Lake Jing Mei burst its banks.  
  
'Anyway,' he added. 'I called the room hours ago.' He got up and wandered off to his retreat. The other guys, except Carter, followed suit without hesitation, smiling smugly to themselves that they were going to live in luxury for the next few weeks. Oh how life was sweet.  
  
'I'll get us a spot of tea shall I?' the men heard Elizabeth ask from the safety of their bedroom.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Please RATE AND REVIEW this people because I really want feedback still. The next instalment will be up soon, they will be 'highlights' of the days. 


	4. What's all the noise?

Big BrothER  
  
(Shout out to Dranna thanks that title is better, hehe)  
  
(3) What's all the noise?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to the WB, and all those talented writers out there, you know who you are, etc.  
  
Author's note: This is my first fanfic, so please RATE AND REVIEW to let me know your thoughts. And also this will be based more on the English version of BB considering I'm English and haven't seen the US version, but still, no flames just yet, hehehe.  
  
Thanks to my English teacher Lynne, she taught me all I know, so if you are going to complain, give her a buzz instead of me, hehe.  
  
Oh and sorry for stereotyping (well, I'm basically mocking my own people, so don't say I am being biased)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
smug, posh Geordie style accent voiceover Day 1 in the Big Brother House, and tensions are already beginning to show among the 10 housemates incarcerated with no contact with the outside world  
  
08.59 am PATIO DOOR EPISODE smug, posh Geordie style accent voiceover The housemates are still in bed, Luka is the first to get up.  
  
'Ah, what a beautiful morning this is, beautiful, the world out there is so beautiful. If only people could see its true beauty, it would be a much joyous place. Like the joy of a newborn baby, the joy of laughing children in the playground, chasing each other around the vicinity.' Luka babbled as he stared out the window, he continued, 'the silence is embracing, I could stand here for hours listening to the quiet hush of nothing.'  
  
He then tried to open the patio door, which lead into garden. 'Arghh, what is wrong with you?' he asked the door. 'Huh? Why won't you open?' Luka determined at this point not to let the glass side door win, pulled on the handle. 'Arghhh! Damn you!' he yelled. 'Open!' Luka killed the silence he once adored. 'Sweet dammit to hell! Do what I say! Open this instant, or you'll be sorry!' Luka jerked back. The transformation was upon us.  
  
'ARGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!! GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR!!! TEACH YOU NOT TO OPEN!!!' He began beating the door with his fists, then kicking it with his foot. He stopped for a moment, considered the best course of action and slowly paced back. He then charged towards the door, swung round so his shoulder hit hard against the glass. Needless to say, nothing happened.  
  
The girls woke up abruptly with all of the commotion in the living room. 'What the hell's going on out there?' asked Susan sleepily, she could barely get the words out she was so startled, but it didn't make an iota of difference because her voice still was the same monotonous drone.  
  
'Hmm, the beast is out,' replied Abby grumpily. At this point it became evident to the others in the room that Abby was not her best on the mornings, or indeed any other time of the day. 'But I'm sure as hell going to kick its ass back,' she said angrily that someone had woken her up, as she leapt from her bed and swung the bedroom door wide open.  
  
'Ah well,' said Elizabeth unusually chirpy, considering she's usually in deep freeze mode whilst eating a lemon slice dipped in vinegar, 'While I'm awake, I may as well make us all a cup of tea.' She smiled, as she slowly put her feet to the ground and stretched into the kitchen. Kerry was taken aback at Elizabeth's happiness. Never before had she heard her utter one comment that wasn't a whinge or a whine, she began to think that Elizabeth was ill, I mean, usually she would have started yelling at Luka, before scurrying off to sulk somewhere.  
  
Debs broke her thoughts, 'Hey Kerry,' she said. Kerry swung her head in Debs direction, and looked at her vacantly. Debs continued, 'I don't like it here. I wanna go home.' Well typical, just typical, first she wants in then she wants out. Then she'll want in again, before deciding she actually doesn't like it and wants out. But upon being out, she realises that she DOES want to be in, and returns. By this point, with all the comings and goings, she starts to get ignored and pushed into the background, before finally, her wooden personality sinks her to the depths of obscurity. Ah well.  
  
'Luka,' said Abby edgily as she stood with her arms folded beside him and the offending door. He looked at her, 'What? What is it?' he snapped. 'You gotta FLIP the lock,' she said to him angrily, as in one quick motion, the door could be opened. 'Oh. I never new that.' He replied, somewhat embarrassed at the ordeal. He stumbled, 'We don't have these where I'm from.'  
  
Elizabeth was still in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. Abby joined her, as Luka retreated into the garden. From the girls' bedroom, Kerry, Debs and Susan also decided since they were already awake, to have some breakfast. The kettle whistled. Then uproar.  
  
'What the hell is going on in here?' Robert yelled as he stumbled out of bed and towards the living room. Robert used that phrase a lot, for him it was like a greeting, like saying hello. He stopped in front of the other and assimilated the stance, you know, the hands on hips, feet shoulder width apart, head up, the stance of power. Ahem. Well. 'Well?' he waited. 'Well Robert, we're making tea in the kitchen.' Kerry stated.  
  
Ahh ha. Really? Well. Yes. I know. I can hear that,' Robert stumbled for his words; he feared but hoped that the Luka way of speaking wasn't contagious; he didn't want to say the same thing slightly changing the words round. (I think that's called paraphrasing. . . could be mistaken but I doubt it, hehe) No he was far better than that, and besides, his witty one-liners wouldn't work because they are just that, ONE-liners. Not one line of sense, seven of babble. Or making irreverent comments, what was that all about? Today the sun was out. No, he would have to fight it, if he was to spend 11 weeks with him; he knew that he'd be in for trouble. It had started already. His mind raced at this thought, he became flustered, but managed to compose himself once more.  
  
'What?' Elizabeth snorted. 'The next time you feel that you have to make so much damn noise making tea, make sure that I am not in bed. Do you read me?' he order. 'Oh Robert,' Kerry quashed his order. 'That damn whistle, how the hell are we supposed to sleep with all that racket going on, huh? Typical women, thinks because its HER kitchen, she can do what she likes in it. Well, not when it affects me. OK?'  
  
Debs stared at him in disbelief, Susan quickly cut in. 'Well, Dr. Romano, we weren't making any noise. I mean, come on, you must've heard Luka, right?' 'Hmm. Actually I didn't. You see he has respect for other whilst they are sleeping, something you lot obviously need to learn.' 'Ok that's it,' Debs fumed. 'You lot, as in women? You are just passing the blame on to us because we are women and are seen as the weaker sex. You're just too scared to confront Luka, so you take you argument with us, well. . .' 'Whatever.' Robert said flippantly as he shook his head and headed for the bedroom, he really couldn't be bothered at such an hour to argue so he thought it best not to give a damn 'Ah well,' he thought, 'one down eight to go,' as he counted the number of housemates he had upset already.  
  
'Can you believe that?' Deb continued. 'He just walked away. No one just walks away when I give my speech. No one.' She began to become teary eyed and that infamous lip began to pout. 'Oh man,' Susan said. 'We really gotta avoid situations like this in the future,' she mumbled to Abby. 'Yup, agreed,' she replied, as the two women looked at each other, smiled and ran off into the bedroom to escape Deb's feminist crap again, giggling happily. Wow, Abby, and happy? Woah, I really am shocked now. Whatever happened to 'I'm ugly, I'm an alcoholic, and I can't give up the cigarettes, why won't he notice me?' thing. . .  
  
Robert yelled from inside the bedroom, 'Lizzy, while your there make me some breakfast and bring it in here!' She frowned, not knowing if he was serious or not. Hmmm. 'See that's what I'm talking about. That sort of sexist behaviour will not do,' proceeded Deb, trying to make SOME one listen to the rest of her speech. Elizabeth sighed. She couldn't take anymore of this for much longer, she could feel her temper beginning to break, she pursed her lips, turned away and decided she would make Romano's breakfast after all.  
  
'Yes, Jing Mei,' Kerry humoured her. 'Something must be done about this, we cannot let this sort of behaviour go on.'  
  
'Hey Dr. Weaver?' asked Debs coyly, 'Can we take it to the board?'  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Find out how the others are coping soon. Please RATE AND REVIEW this people because I really want feedback still. In case you hadn't noticed this is very little like BB because I am just typing straight from my head to PC, because its quicker that way. So if something doesn't make any sense you know why, and that is why there is no real story line, just a collection of nonsense. Thanks. x x x 


End file.
